[EDIT]I have had a bombshell of a week that seems to be getting progressively worse and worse.

I can’t let my dog outside because she tears up the back yard by digging holes and chewing on the sprinklers. I can’t leave her inside because she keeps chewing up my shoes, and I mean EVERY pair of shoes I wear. I wear them home from work, take them off, I leave her alone in the room for a couple of minutes, I come out and pieces of my shoe are all over the place. So far my two favorite heels, a pair of boots that I wore today, and Will’s tennis shoe laces. She started on my tennis shoes but she was caught. She also seems to like to go potty in the same spot every day if we leave her inside. And of course she makes a mess with everything.

I had also noticed about a week ago that she tore up the cardboard we had blocking the gate in the back so she couldn’t get out. I figured that she was too big now to fit through it. Well I let her outside while I cleaned the kitty litter boxes when I open the door I heard her running and trying to get through the gate. She was on the other side! She can’t get through and of course the gate is locked so I can’t get to her. I bend down to try to help her through and realize she’s got blood around her eye! I freak a little and she starts to run. CRAP! so I run inside trying to find the keys I run out there and start to call her while trying to unlock the gate. She isn’t coming and now my panic is really starting to set in because I’m about to lose my puppy. The gate won’t open, she’s not coming, I don’t see her, and she’s bleeding. When I finally get the lock open she comes running from the other side of the yard. I have no idea if she got in the other side gate or if she was in the yard the whole time I was freaking out and trying to open the stupid gate. I bring her inside and cleaned her eye which I still have no clue how it happened. So problem #1: my dog. Not to mention last week when she decided she could fly and decided to jump out of the window in the car while it was moving.

I decided I needed to do the dishes yesterday along with a couple of other chores. Our dishwasher doesn’t work so I have to hand wash dishes, we don’t have a strainer so we put the wet dishes in the dishwasher to dry. Of course the water doesn’t drain out of the dishwasher it just builds up and sits in the bottom of the dishwasher. We’ve noticed this for about two months but weren’t sure how to handle it. Yesterday when I was putting the dishes away I noticed that there was black mold growing all over the dishwasher. So I decide to clean it out. Next thing I know my skin starts to get small bubbles and itch on my arm. A couple of hours later and I’m nauseas and dizzy. I couldn’t sleep, my stomach was killing me, I spent the rest of the night trying to find a comfortable position to keep from getting sick. Today at work, I hadn’t gotten any better. So I went home after three hours. I couldn’t concentrate, I was dizzy, getting chest cramps, nausea, and couldn’t eat. I’m hoping that it is just an allergic reaction and not toxic mold. They both have the same symptoms so the only way to tell is to test the mold. I had been feeling slightly ill for a couple of months now and I think I just figured out why. So blah to the day and blah to the week, I’m going to try and find something happy to do. [/EDIT]

Sometimes I feel like a little girl lost in a really big world. Some days I don’t know who to trust, don’t know who I am or what I want. Then there are other days when I feel like the day could not get any better. What causes these mood in fluctuations? What makes someone happy and what makes them sad? Emotions are a very tricky thing. They can cause a lot of damage to a person.

I think my boyfriend tells me about a new girl that likes him every day. Being a lady, I can tell by what he tells me if the girl really does like him or not. Reason why so many women like him???? Not because he’s totally cut, a total gentlemen, has the face of Brad Pitt, and drives a Bentley. No, no, it is because he is a flirt. He is probably going to come home, read this and think WTH??? Yes, it is true, I know my man and he has this way about him. He may think that what he is saying to another girl isn’t going to mean much to her but it does. Maybe he does it on purpose or it may be that he does it unknowingly, I’ll probably never know for sure. Either way I still find that most women are deceitful, conniving, backstabbing witches that are only out to destroy other girls. Why is that??? Men seem to get a long just fine and aren’t usually out to destroy all other men but it always seems like girls are. Always putting each other down, stealing boyfriends, and disgracing women in general. What ever happened to classy women? And how can a girl really learn to trust her (flirtatious) boyfriend with other women practically groveling on their knees??? If you know he’s taken LEAVE HIM ALONE AND GO FIND YOUR OWN! I try to be as much of a lady as I can but sometimes I fail at that. I think it’s time women to grow up and start treating each other with respect because we’re only degrading ourselves.

My reason for waking up every morning.
How could I not love everyday with this gorgeous man to look at. He makes everyday worth living. He makes my heart flutter and my knees buckle. He is all that I need. I only need him, a computer with the internet, Veronica Mars, In-N-Out, and Miaya. I think I’d be content with that if I were stranded on a deserted island.

For Valentines day my babe bought a dozen long stem roses in a box and chocolates for me. He came to my work, hand delivered these items and sang ‘You are so Beautiful’ to me, in front of half of my co-workers. What could have been sweeter than that? He is wonderful and I am a lucky girl.

So, I’m supposed to be going to see 30 Seconds to Mars tonight but I’m not so sure if that is going to happen. Apparently last night the lead singer wasn’t feeling well and didn’t perform. That means that tonights show might just be canceled though I haven’t seen it officially posted yet. BOOOOO!

Another day, another dollar. TGIF. I’ve just come to the realization that I will be 19 in just under a month. How do I feel about that? Crappy, kind of nervous, somewhat anxious. I know it is not a milestone number but it will be my last year as a teenager and it won’t be long before people actually start to take me seriously….I think? Maybe it’s all in my head but at least I won’t be ‘18′ anymore. I’m a growing adult and I think folks should treat me as such. The reality is, I don’t really want to get older because that means another year of my life has slipped away that I didn’t do this or that. :: sigh :: maybe this will be the year I make everything different…

I love Fridays. I love them even more when they are a payday. Chyea! Of course my paychecks still aren’t that big but it’s better to have something than nothing. Besides, I’m one of those weirdos that actually likes to pay bills. Scary huh? I guess that all has to do with my job and working in collections because I know what happens to people when they don’t pay bills(now picture me as the evil monkey in family guy snarling with me teeth and pointing) haha. Have a wonderful Friday ladies and gents. I know I will.

p.s. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS RELEASE DATE IS JULY 21ST, 2007!!!!!!!!!!!