[EDIT 07.02.05 @ 7:43 pm] I wonder how many people that read this believe in love at first sight. hmm…you know, when you see someone and weather it be the first time you’re seeing them or not. You suddenly feel happy, you stare into their eyes and you realize that you are smiling because of them. You realize that it makes your day just to see them. However, you don’t want to go too far so you look quickly before glancing back to see if they’re still looking. hehe sweet… [/EDIT]

I meant to make an entry last night but I don’t know what happened. I was tired and decided I’d just go to sleep instead I’m really excited because my Mom actually has a boyfriend I like. Not only do I like him but this is the first time in my entire life that I’ve ever heard her talk about getting married and she’s talking about getting married with him. They have only been dating for like a month but it seems like they’re always together. I think he’s good for her too and I can see that he makes her happy. I am amazed and I really hope that this is the one. However, I don’t think she came home last night :plain: Not that it is a bad thing, but hello!? Abandonment. LOL I kind of just woke up this morning and I thought she was in the living room because the TV was on. She wasn’t, and it was on the same chanel that I left it on last night. So I know she didn’t come home because she would have turned it off. Maybe I’m just over reacting but I’ll be honest, I hate sleeping in a house alone. I always have. When I was a wee little bit younger, I would stay up until my Mom got home because I couldn’t sleep without knowing that there was someone else in the house. I’m not like that anymore, I can sleep just fine. But still, knowing that I was alone all night kind of freaks me out. Then there’s waking up alone. haha Yes, I have abandonment issues.

Anyways, five weeks ago I took my $360 car deck to the shop I had bought it from. There was something wrong with it, haha it wouldn’t play CD’s. Everytime I would put in a CD it would spit it back out and say error. So of course I took it back and the guy said that he was going to send it into the shop and it should take 2-3 weeks. So I wait 2 weeks and call him, No stereo. Now, inbetween all this I have no stereo so no music, AT ALL. I wait another two weeks, then making it 4 weeks. I go down there to see what’s up because I looked on the reciept he gave me and he has the wrong phone number. He still doesn’t have it. So he calls down to the place and he just keeps saying, “they don’t have it, they don’t have it.” I was like What? Anyways then he changed his story to, “they don’t have the part.” Now it’s been 4 weeks, I’m ticked off and have been driving around without any music for a month. He also says that they changed his delivery day from Wed. to Tues. hmph. So I told my Mom that I was going to wait two more weeks. Next week, on Wed. the guy calls and says that it came in. Hm, I thought they changed your day to Tuesday, why didn’t you call me then? He called me at like 6:00pm on Wed. too. So My car was in the shop getting the air checked out, an oil changed, and new headlights. I asked my Mom to go pick up my car and the deck because I was going to be working. She did, and it turns out that the people supposedly sent this guy a brand new one. Hmmm, interesting huh? I think something fishy was going on. I will NEVER go back there again. I was so depressed, haha you should have seen me, I was driving around in my Mom’s van with no air to get to and from work for two days. IT SUCKED! I am very happy now though, I got my car back with both headlights working and my radio. The headlight had been out since I went to California and I think that was like back in Jan. or Februaury.

Speaking of California, I’m going back. I could actually go back on Labor day weekend, my Mom is going out of town with her boyfriend so I’m going to be alone anyways. I think Tish and I may just take a nice trip because she wants to go. I’m also going to go when the Marines come back Woo Hoo! I think October 1st is the day they are coming. Yaay! Also, in November I get to go to the Marine Ball. I am so excited. I can’t even imagine being in a room full of marines. WOOO!

Anyways, the diet is going good. I’ve even been exercising like I’m supposed to an hour a day. It’s hard work. I do cardio for about 30 minutes. Then strength training for another 30-20 minutes. So far not a lot of weight or inches lost BUT I feel so much better about myself and I think I look different. By the way, I’m actually talking about the last like two weeks because that’s only when I started getting really serious about the dieting thing. Before I was just doing whatever I wanted, now I’ve actually started a “program” I still have quite a few pounds to lose before I reach my goal though. Hopefully I’ll be where I want to in November.

I also forgot to mention that we went to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show the other weekend, Alex was playing as Dr. Frank-n-Furter. That was awesome, so much fun. Alex did a great job too. I was the big Virgin, but I snuck away before they could put a V on my cheek. I had fun, I think we’ll have to go again sometime.

I hope my Mom gets home soon. I was going to go to church but I guess not if she isn’t here. I need to go shopping too so I’ll probably just do that. Then I’ll come home workout and clean. Have a good Sunday!

Long time huh? I told you. haha That is my life right there. Powerade, drawing pad, and kit-kats! Actually that was just my last Walgreens shopping spree. It’s so much closer that Target or K-mart. I went today and bought $13 worth of chocolate. I’m still on my diet so I managed to find some sugar free, low fat, low sodium, Hershey’s chocolate bars. They are actually not all that bad. I bought the rest of the chocolate for work. Mm Kit-Kats, Snickers, and Hershey’s. YUM!!

There was this guy in town doing a seminar about scorpions or something so he came by and borrowed or scorpion. We have one in the office that is alive. He came back today with a whole bowl full of them, about 8. One was my managers and I decided to keep the rest. I put them in this little glass fish bowl and next thing I knowt he biggest one had killed the smallest one (it was just a cute little baby that was probably only a few weeks old) and was eating it! He had it in his mouth. Awww! So we decided to throw this huge spider in there and sure enough in five minutes the big scorpion had killed that spider and was eating it too with the baby scorpion still sticking out of it’s mouth. NASTY. I don’t know why I decided to keep all of those scorpions just sitting there on my desk. Kind of scary everytime I look at them.

There are two guys at work. One of them just started and the other has been working longer than me. They are friends and they decide that they like to embarass the heck out of me. Now, when I’m embarassed I turn tomato red. They both are like 18 and they smell so good. Anyways, they decided that they wanted to get over the radio (that eveyrone can hear) and say that the loved me. It was cute but at the same time I was so embarassed because everone heard that. All I could say back was, Thank you! haha

I think I should start taking bets on when I’m going to post again… I’m very tired. I hope this isn’t one of those crapy blogs. Oh well, if it is, I only do it for me. Until next time…

So where have I been huh? Honestly, I’ve been thinking about going offline for a little bit. I don’t know if I will but don’t expect any updates for a while. It’s kind of hard to upkeep. If I had all the time in the world I’d probably devote it all to this website, but I really have no time. Especially not lately. Forget my last entry all of that is over. Now I’m completely redoing ME. I’ve gotten 100% completely serious about diet and exercise and in the last three days of getting serious I’ve lost 2lbs. And this time I’m not starving myself, haha. So, the bulk of my days are spent: working, studying, eating, exercising, and sleeping. I have absolutely no problem with this and am quite happy with the results. I still feel like I’m wasting away my youth but what else am I going to do? Getting into shape makes me feel good, and I really need to finish school A.S.A.P. In fact I am going to spend this entire weekend starting tomorrow finshing up the last of my english papers. SIGH but for now I do have to exercise because I haven’t today and then I’m going to jump in the jucuzzi. It’s Friday night and I don’t feel that well so I think I’m just going to stay inside. haha I think I should go get started. Goodnight my luvs.

Aww, look at the bear that Charles got me. How cute, of course and then there’s me… LOL hmm I went and played laser quest today. That was awesome because I had never done it before right? So I was like what the hey, lets do it. That was SO much fun. Seriously, that was awesome. I was always afriad to play that before but I had a blast. I love trying new things. Now I just have to get on that rollar coaster at the stateline. Yea…right. It’s something I do want to do. I also want to go out to Moapa valley when there isn’t a bunch of people there :satisfied: and play with Roman Candles, which I’ve never used. I just saw this video one time of people having like a Roman Candle war it looked like fun. I’m such a dork.

My face looks thinner doesn’t it? Yea, since I very first started dieting for Prom, which was exaclty two months ago tomorrow, I have lost 15lbs. I’m pretty proud of myself. That’s 2lbs a week. I don’t feel any different, and I don’t see much of a difference but the scale says otherwise. I’m happy and Hoping to lose quite a few more. Right now I’m pretty much back to the same size I was at this time last year. Sooo I’m going to keep going and hopefully I drop a 15 more in another two months.

Do you ever see someone and wonder if you should be like them? Like, you know you’re better because you have better morales or values but you just can’t help but think maybe you should be like that. And have you ever wondered where your life has gone and why you’re not friends with the people you were friends with before and you have no clue why? I really just feel like my life has gone into the ground since last year. It’s gotten progressivly worse. I’m not in Eldorado anymore so I’m on my own for school. I’m stuck at a dead-end job that isn’t going to go anywhere and I make scraps for money. I’ll never be able to get a good job because I can’t afford a real educaiton. Every last one of my friends aren’t really my friends anymore. I don’t talk to them, I don’t see them. I wouldn’t be suprised if I never saw any of them ever again. It makes me wonder if I made the wrong choice leaving school, but I just couldn’t stand it there anymore. I don’t think it would have helped. It seems like everyone is too busy for each other now. I don’t call anyone and they surely don’t call me. We’re going are own seperate ways. I really think I might move to California now simply because it seems like there’s nothing here for me anymore. Even family gatherings that I used to love hold no value anymore. I can’t help but think they are all judging me and wondering why I just sit there. I’m emotionless and it really sucks.

haha I’m sure this sounds like a big bunch of bull and your thinkg waaa waaaa. That’s what I was thinking too. :crazy: I think I’ll go drift off to dreamland where life is good. Honestly, I think I could sleep forever. That would be the good life. Night my luvs.

I was going to add a picture to this but I’m on my laptop and I have no pictures avialabe. Sorry, I really like adding pictures too, but I was sitting here and decided I didn’t feel like going all the way to the desktop to make a new entry and sit there for photo shoots. I just got out of the jucuzzi … mmmm … Anyways story time. I went to the chiropractor today. This was my first visit so I wasn’t really sure what I was in for. For as long as I can remember I’ve had neck pains. Right in my neck and where my neck meets my shoulders and back. I can’t even tell you when this pain began, it’s just always been there. I can crack my neck about ten times a day right along with my back. My lower back has only started hurting recently. Anyways My Mom decided she needed to go and I asked her about it and decided to make my own appointment. I went today and boy, I’ve never felt so violated. LOL It was good I guess but this doctor was semi-weird and it is just kind of weird the way he grabs you and like touchs you and lean on you. I felt like a pretzel and he was kind of hurting me. Anyways then they did this whole elctromagnetic thing which was weird too. Many of you know I’m ver ticklish. The lady who was doing it made me put on a gown, I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to take off my clothes haha but I did. So she put the things on me and then the GUY doctor walks in just to ask me how I was. Mind you, he knew I was only 17 so I mean HELLO! Should this guy really be walking in on a 17 year old while she’s laying there face down in a hosptital gown? Anyways it felt a little better right afterwards but it hurts again now. It’s not really like a pain but more or less that it just aches and is stiff all the time. So I was leaving the place and expecting to have to pay $65, they didn’t charge me anything. She made another appointment for me and that’s it. I was standing there like umm that’s it? She said yea so I left. I half expected someone to come running after me telling me I didn’t pay. NO chiropractor is free so I am really confused. I have another appointment on Tuesday and I’m afriad that they’re going to say somethig LOL Oh well, if they do it doesn’t matter because I have the money for it.

I’ve been wondering if I shouldn’t get a part time job instead of this one I have. Since the hired someone else it actually hasn’t been that bad but in the back of my mind all I can think is I’m only 17 I shoudn’t be working a 40hr a week job. I feel like I’m missing my entire youth. I found a job that is 25hrs a week at $12.70/hr. I would be making a little less. I guess this is just be complaining again but somthing is telling me not to quit. I know that I’m not going to go very far in the job though, and if I keep the job I won’t be able to take any college classes. I’m tired enough as it is. I’m at work for 9hrs a day plus the hour and a half it takes me to get there and back. I begin how people do it. How do you get up and go to a job every morning that you hate?

The sixth book of Harry Potter is coming out next Saturday. I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan. I’ve already ordered the book from Amazon and it’s supposed to arrive at my door on Saturday. Unfortunately, that means I have to be here all day to wait for it. The movie is going to come out in September or November. hehe I’m a freak.

:: sigh :: Sometimes I feel like I could write forever, and I’m not even writing about anything. I guess this is my way of expressing myself. haha