I was so excited to go to work today. haha That’s hardly every happened. I actually really like work it’s just on the weekends when it’s really difficult that I don’t like it. Well I mean I still like it but it just gets really stressful. So I’ll be there tomorrow night from 5pm till 1am and I’m wondering how late she’s actually going to keep me. I know she is going to let me off early because I have to work at 9am the next morning. Last time I don’t even think she kept me till 10. So I’m going to lose some more hours. I really don’t care anymore. My car will get paid for sooner or later. LOL But I don’t know why I was so excited to go to work but I was, I think it’s because I hadn’t been there in a few days. LOL so it was fun. Anyways I came home from school and started to study but I was just so tired so I was thinking “I have an hour why don’t I just sleep” I set my alarm and everything and it went off but I went back to sleep after I turned it off. I had to be there at 2 and I woke up at 1:55. I was freaking out like Oh man I’m going to be late. LOL so I called in and told my manager and everything was all good. I clocked in at exactly 2:22:22 I guess the computer was trying to tell me that I should have been there at 2. Then I didn’t even get a ten minute break until after I’d been there for four hours. Which is scary because we usually get them after only two hours and then a 15 or 30 after four. So everything was a little messed up. Lucky me though, I got let off at 7:30 which gave me enough time to actually do some homework!

Yup, I finished my english essay due tomorrow. yaay now I just need to study for the three quizzes I’m taking and it will be all good. I would have spent the time with Mike but he’s all busy with Bao. But I guess it’s a good thing he didn’t come over like I asked him to because then I wouldn’t have gotten the work done XOXO

Happy Birthday Bonnie!

Yes, today is Bonnie’s birthday and I haven’t talked to her in a couple of days so I am writing her a happy birthday message here even though I’m pretty sure she isn’t going to get it. I love her so very very much.

I came home from school today to find a message in my voicemail from my business law teacher and he said that I didn’t respond to his e-mail. Only I didn’t know he was sending these e-mails to my interact account that I had never even visited. Anyways he said I had been marked absent twice, but I e-mailed him and straightened everything out. He erased my absences. woo

I’m giving a shout-out to Tishy. She wanted me to do it a long time ago but I kept forgetting so now I’ve remembered. I love you.

:D x 100 Everything is much better. I don’t have to work until Thursday, so that’s three whole days all to myself. Well kind of and Mike. Amazing that I’ve already had about two days off and I haven’t done a thing.

I’m so hungry right now. My mom still hasn’t come home from work and there’s nothing to eat here, I already ate it after school. I have a little bit of money to go get something but I’m just being lazy.

[EDIT]I am a bitch(yes I did just curse), yes I know. I’ve done so many many things in my life that I regret. It’s horible that I have regrets but I do, a lot. And to the world: I’m sorry for being a bitch. To everyone else:

To James White: I was very cruel to you and you never even knew it, you were still just as nice to me. You are one of a kind.

To my better half and the reason for me still being here today(Sasha): I love you more than you could ever know and I’m sorry for all the mean things I’ve said to you, all the times I’ve made you cry. I’m sorry I doubted you and I believe in you still. No matter what you’re always going to be “the love of my life” LOL

To Cecilie Ann Medina: You know I laugh at you, I’m am so sorry for all of it. I love you very very much.

To Michael Misch: If only you would have found her sooner, I’m so very happy for you. I’m sorry for anytime I yelled at you or took you for granted.

To my mother and family: I’m sorry for stealing, I’m sorry for lying, I’m sorry for any inconvience I may have been. I’m sorry for all the brattiness and selfishness and I hope you can forgive me because your opinion means the most to me in the world.

To Mike: You know I love you, and so does the world. You are the reason for my happiness, because of you I am a better person and you’ve changed my life. I’m sorry for everything. You mean the world to me because you are my world.

To Jesus: You better than anyone else know everything I’ve done wrong and I’m sorry for all of those but most of all I’m so sorry and ask for your forgivness for three major things, you know what they are.

Everyone else: I’m sorry to anyone I’ve ever said I hate because of their race, religion, or just because. [/EDIT]

This is going to sound so stupid and so chaotic, where do I start? Yesterday I said talked to Mike, which was practically the first time I’d talked to him all weekend and I said “I feel mad at you and I don’t know why” I do believe he took this very seriously because now he hasn’t looked at me or talked to me. I didn’t mean it. It wasn’t I’m mad, it was like a “you suck” So once again everythings all bad. I feel like absolute crap. He probably thinks I’m some stupid dramatic b*&%$. When I didn’t even mean it that way. It makes me feel horrible. But the fact that he has completely stopped talking to me makes me think he’s ready to go back to his life, and if that’s the case then I’m not going to stop it. He deserves a lot better and doesn’t need to be treated the way I treat him, and I’m probably not what he needs right now. I love him so very very much and I don’t want anything to end like this. I don’t want anything to end at all. But I only want his happiness. I love him, and he means so much to me.

This is my online journal and I feel free to express myself how I want. So, everyone and everything sucks. I feel sick, and work makes me sick. No one ever follows through with what they say they’re going to do. I’m ignored and forgotten. Blah blah blah pitty me pitty me right? I feel stupid.

My boyfriends ignoring me and I haven’t talked to or seen him in days. Where is this going? He sucks.

I come home from a very long, tiring, horrible day at work to find some ugly piece of crap beat up truck in my parking spot. “Hey mom, what about me? Where do I fit in to all of this?”

I get to much crap from parents, mangaers, co-workers and kids at work. I just want to pull my hair out. It’s not worth it, and this isn’t worth it. Why can’t it all be over with.

I put on this smile and act like everything is okay when it’s not. Everything sucks. I suck. Just shoot me.